If indeed you must be candid, be candid beautifully. ~ Kahlil Gibran ~
Candid conversations are about showing openness, honesty, and consideration for others. They reduce the individual’s need to be right. You have a responsibility to respect the dignity of the other person in times of conflict, some things are better left unsaid. If you are unsure on certain points, that which you have not said doesn’t need to be taken back. Always be kind and respectful of the other person, and do not seek to abuse the other person into submission. They can be their authentic selves when the conversation is open and honest.
It’s never nice to be unkind or go on the attack. Try to understand where the other person is coming from. They might have a valid point, one that you have not thought about. Keep an open mind. Ask questions based on what the other person is saying. Dialogue should be painless and open. Respect the dignity of the other person. Make sure you sound curious, not furious.
If you still believe you have a more valid point, and you understand both sides, state your case, and always attack the subject matter, never the person. Make the other person part of the problem-solving. Be open to their point of view, and ask questions. Ask how they would handle the situation.
Avoid saying things that you will regret later by taking a moment to gather your thoughts and composure before initiating the conversation. Address concerns privately and not in front of others. Honesty is about being kind. It is a good idea to go over what you are going to say to iron out any thoughtless comments that might crop up in the conversation. Practice will help you to work through whether it is the right thing to do, and which words are the right ones to use. Words spoken over the phone or written can be all too easily distorted, and might make a negative meaning where none was intended, so try to have your talk in person. Don’t be rude. Do your best to give your message without hurting his or her feelings.
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