Every one says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive. ~ C. S. Lewis ~
Forgiveness requires feeling willing to forgive. Do not attempt to forgive someone before you have identified, fully felt, expressed, and released your anger and pain.
Sometimes we just have to make the choice to forgive. We might really want to forgive someone but we can’t get past our anger. Forgiving is not forgetting. There is a time for hostility and there is a time for peace. Sometimes you just have to let the hostility burn out before you can move on to peace. No one can make you uncomfortable without you giving away your power. You choose how you are going to respond, respond with kindness if at all possible. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to continue to include this person in your life. If you cannot get past their behavior, then it is best to leave that person in your past.
If you still want or need this person in your life, bring love to hate, light to darkness and pardon to injury. Practicing this will help with the healing process. Forgiveness doesn’t mean there is nothing further to work out in the relationship or that everything is right. Forgiveness isn’t something you do for the person who wronged you, it is something you do for yourself.
True forgiveness is letting go. When you don’t release your emotions, they can cause health issues and make you just plain miserable. Try letting go of your desire to get even with the person who has violated you. Remember that we’ve all been insensitive and selfish at times. Think of all the good things about this person and have compassion for them. Forgiving takes time. Smile and pray for strength to do the right thing. We are all doing the best we can.
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Also published on Medium.